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"I will never have ED." -Travis
(While playing catch phrase, Jared describes his word to Mike and Jason...)
"An actor from my same race and color." -Jared
"DENZEL WASHINGTON!" -Mike
"Exaclty!"
(Mike, Jason, and Kara are staring at a picture of Gordon B. Hinckley ...)
"We should probably take that down." -Mike
"Why would you take it down?" -Kara
"Because he's dead."
"Well, we put pictures of Je...""Nevermind." -Jason
"We need to move out guys and fast!"
"You planned your own birthday party?" "What a loser." -Christina
"I hate nice people!"
"Don't worry guys, maybe next time there will be prettier girls." -Travis
"Girls should have to declare when they're fifteen that they're going on a mission!" -Jason
"Then they have to wear a black arm band until they go." -Mike
"They should have to sign a waiver." -Travis
(After Mike wrestled Travis to the ground...)
"The side of my face is numb after you threw me to the ground Mike!""I feel like I went to the dentist." -Travis
"Yeah!" "You went to Dr. Murdock!" -Mike
"Yes, Colonel Alleger." -Dave